Back when I was junior in college, I bought my first bottle of cologne. It was disastrous. I strolled into Macy’s hoping to find the magical fragrance that would complete my wardrobe, but zero knowledge of how to actually choose cologne left me vulnerable to the bombardment of beautiful bottles and confusing names.
Before I knew it, a slick-talking salesman convinced me to spend $80 on something he swore would “make women lose their minds.” Spoiler alert: it smelled atrocious. I realized my mistake when he enthusiastically sprayed it on my wrist three times to “test it out.” To recover from that blunder, I did what anyone would do: I wore the cologne to a party that weekend. Probably over-applied too; at that point I was pretty desperate for people to notice it.
My roommate Jake came up to me halfway through the night and asked if I’d spilled something on myself. His girlfriend elaborated: “You smell like you rolled around in a Bath & Body Works.” Ouch.
She wasn’t wrong, either.
It smelled as cheap as it was. Between the fantasy forest scents and gallons of musk they sling at department stores, I smelled like a teenager discovering Axe for the first time. I was thrown into the wild world of men’s fragrance with no preparation, and look how that turned out.
If you’re reading this thinking “ Dude, cologne these days is way better than your freshmen year of college!” fair enough, it kinda is. The marketing game has gotten totally out of control. They’ll claim one cologne has “top notes of fermented sea salt harvested from cerulean waters by Aristotle himself” or something ridiculous.
Seriously. Do they think us normal people understand what those things mean?! Do they think we care?
Descriptions read like perfume-centric love poems, when what I really want is not to smell like garbage. But hey, I’m a few years into this whole fancy smelling droplets thing now. I’ve made every mistake in the book and spent way too much money on niche brands just to realize the answer was in the drugstore supermarket section this whole time.
So let’s take a trip down cologne memory lane shall we? And trust me when I say I know these mistakes firsthand. Don’t Believe Everything You ‘Know’ About Cologne Types I could get really scientific and explain the differences between parfum, eau de parfum, eau de toilette, but here’s the shortcut: strength and price.
Parfum is the strongest concentration and costs more, followed by eau de parfum and eau de toilette. But just because one is more concentrated doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better – it also doesn’t last longer. In fact, most don’t last much longer than their weaker counterparts.
Apply too much of a strong scent and you’ll still be reeking hours later. This brings me to my next point, which is majority of guys can’t really tell the difference between concentrations. Once I learned that, I started buying eau de toilette almost exclusively.
Why spend $90 on when a solid parfum will set you back $200? I made this mistake early on when I bought a Chandler Burr fragrance at Barney’s in NYC. Fully intended on treating it like I would any other cologne not realizing it was actually a parfum concentration.
Applied way too much the first time I wore it and discovered the hard way that “less is more” when it comes to strong colognes. And as far as “mens cologne” vs. “women’s cologne” goes? Forget all that nonsense.
If you’re new to cologne, by all means hit up the mens section first – there’s less to overwhelm you. But some of my favorite scents would most likely be found in the “women’s fragrance” section. Men can and should wear whatever the hell smells good on them.
If someone comments stop and ask why – it might tell you something about your own fragrance choices. Smell Before You Buy Every time I buy cologne now, I spray it on, wait 15 minutes, then smell again. If it smells great at that point I’ll give it another spray and wear it around for the rest of the day to make sure I don’t hate it by nightfall.
This is the step I skipped when I bought that $80 disaster, spraying it on a testing strip at the store and trusting my nose to make the right decision. Buy something in store? Apply it to your skin and wear around for a bit before checkout.
Ordering online? Return policies these days are pretty forgiving. If it doesn’t smell good on you, send it back. “I smell fine on myself!” You’ll probably say to yourself.
Sure, but what about 15 minutes from now? Fragrances are split into categories called “notes” – top, middle, and base. Top notes are the smells you notice immediately after spraying but fade quickly; think citrus, pine, herbs.
Middle notes take over once the top notes fade, and base notes come in last. They’re called base because they’re the foundation of the fragrance. When you smell something “right away,” you’re really only smelling the top notes.
These change as the cologne develops on your skin, which is why testing is key. If you like a fragrance based off the top notes, you may hate (or be in love with) the final product. As you test, take your time.
Spray once, wait at least 15 minutes, check how long it lingers, apply again if you still like it. Or try Chandler Burr’s method, my partner Antonio’s favorite: spray it on, go about your day. Grab coffee.
Run errands. Smell your wrist periodically. Like it?
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Still smell it? Give you a headache? Wait another hour.
By bedtime you’ll have a good idea if it’s something you want to keep around. Not all cologne are created equal, and certain notes work better for different seasons and occasions. Your shirt-stopping intense scent may smell amazing in the winter, but will it overwhelm people when it’s 85 degrees out?
Conversely, if you only own light, fresh scents will they even last through dinner? You don’t need to own ten different bottles of cologne…but a few options are nice. Know your seasons and occasions.
Try to find scents with enough variety that you can get away with just one or two. Here’s what I rotate through currently: Everyday Spinneret by Le Labo – Very lightweight but with lots of different scent variations, this one’s great for year-round use. Conjurer by Serge Lutens – Fancy, complex smell with lots of woody, spicy notes.
Great for Fall/Winter. Acqua di Parma Colonia – Sharp citrus scent that smells awesome crushed into a towel after a shower. Spray on for day time freshness that won’t overwhelm.
Tom Ford Oud Wood – Heavy. Sexy. Rich. expensive.
Get it for Winter/Special Occasions, won’t smell like much after the first hour. Money Doesn’t Always Buy Happiness Expensive doesn’t always mean better, but cheap definitely smells like cheap. I find you can find great scents at any price point these days.
My favorite cheap find is Pablo Neruda by Santiago Bronzo. Cost me $35 at Barneys and I get compliments on it all the time. My least favorite scent is an $85 bottle of Creed I was gifted.
Bonus points if you search for “budget” or “affordable” versions of your favorite high-end scents on forums like Reddit’s r/mensfragrance. Chances are someone came up with something similar that won’t break the bank. In all my years of trial and error, I’ve found that $15-60 tends to be flooded with synthetic smells that don’t last long.
For quality cologne you’re usually looking at $50-200+ depending on brand. However, many higher-end brands offer “entry level” options that have similar smells to their large perfectorias. Sprigs has a great website called Fragrantica where you can look up just about any fragrance and see user recommended “dupes” that won’t make your bank account cry.
Application Foam Congratulations! You found a fragrance you love. Now don’t screw it up by applying too much.
The goal with cologne isn’t to make people notice how great you smell fifty feet away. When applied correctly, you shouldn’t be able to smell your cologne until someone gets close to you. Coco Chanel said it best: One spritz too much and you’ll smell like you’re wearing cologne.
Two spritzes too much and your dad is wearing cologne. Spray once onto your chest (under your shirt) and once at the base of your neck. You can also spray wrists and clap them together – do NOT rub, you’re destroying the scent!
If you can smell it a hour later without intentionally smelling your wrist, you used too much. Application is probably the number one mistake I see men make with cologne, and was totally my downfall when I first started. It took me years to realize I was just over-applying.
My coworker Dave, who has an incredible collection and is really knowledgeable about fragrances, summed it up perfectly: “A woman should smell your cologne when she decides to take a seat next to you.” Roll that around in your brain for a minute. Here’s the problem with most cologne complaints I see: “I can’t smell it after an hour, what’s the point?” Truth is your nose adapts to smells super quickly. Especially your own cologne.
Just because you can’t smell it hours later doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Ask a friend. Ask your mom.
Unless you’re using samples sprayed directly on your wrist, chances are you’re over applying because you think it’s not smelling after an hour. Struggling to make your fragrance last? Apply some unscented lotion before spraying cologne – your skin will better absorb the smell.
Pro tip: spray on clothes instead of skin.
Colored fragrances can stain fabrics so exercise caution. Just make sure it’s a scent known for longevity.
Fragrances with lighter notes like citrus will fade much quicker than deep woods, ambers, and ouds. Bonus tip: Wear What You Like Truth is I’ve loved every fragrance I’ve ever bought. Hate your cologne and you’ll smell like you hate cologne.
Wear something that gives you confidence and you’ll smell like a new man. My favorite fragrance of all time is actually a $70 bottle I bought because it reminded me of playing in my grandparents attic as a kid. Love it that much?
You can bet I smell amazing when I wear it. Moral of the story: wear things that make YOU feel good. Happy smelling!
