When I first went to Glastonbury way back in 2007, I packed like I was going to Coachella. Lightweight chinos, brand new white trainers, a pile of curated-but-not-too-curated t-shirts that I thought would give me a chillaxed coastal vibe rather than desktop publisher posing for a music magazine thirty years too late. It was 2007.
I was 23. I lived in a dream world. By Saturday am I was wearing wellies nicked from someone’s tent (£saynotoviolence), my friend Jamie’s borrowed rain mac and about 30 years worth of regret.
Fifteen years later that sinking feeling in my stomach hasn’t quite worn off. By Sunday those white trainers had been ritually placed outside our tent to avoid tracking mud inside and were now so caked in mud that they no longer resembled shoes.
My much-curated wardrobe had been reduced to wearing everything that wasn’t soaking wet.
If I’d looked impressive on Friday, I probably looked like death by Sunday. My excitement had been rapidly replaced by damp disappointment. You can’t outrun British summer weather wearing light denim and trainers.
What I wish some sage-wise festivalgoer had told me back then (and what I’m trying to tell you now) is that British summer festival dressing is mostly a subset of outdoors clothing with the added caveat that you might also get to wear something vaguely stylish. It doesn’t have to be expensive or high-tech, but starting from a place of accepting these truths will take you much further than naive optimism. There will be rain.
It will probably pour at some point. There will be lots of mud. Like nowhere-on-earth mud that clings to your clothes and won’t come out in the wash mud.
You will at some point be too hot, too cold, too hungry, too thirsty and just plain miserable. Bright white will be ruined within the first hour. Experienced festivalgoers will know just how dangerous large clusters of grey clouds can be.
One look at the incoming humid onslaught and they’ll batten down the hatches before anyone else has even considered that rain might be a possibility. They know that weather forecasts use the term “scattered showers” when they really mean “whenever these clouds decide to open up they’re not gonna mess around”. They know that a British summer afternoon can pack every season into one field-sized onslaught of weather extremes when you’re miles from home with nowhere to hide.
Okay. So we’ve established what you shouldn’t wear. Now let’s look at what you should!
Layers, layers, layers. Oh and more layers. These days I pack for a festival as though I’m going skiing.
Ok maybe that’s going a bit far, but you get the idea. Start with a base layer of t-shirts. Nothing too pricey but also not shite.
Cotton/poly blends work way better than 100% cotton for festival wear – they’ll dry quicker when your excellent weather disappears as you’re queuing at the toilet block between bands. Throw in a hoodie or light jumper for when it inevitably gets cooler (and let’s face it, when isn’t it cool during the British summer?). Uniqlo do some great merino wool ones that are thin enough to pack away but will keep you warm when needed.
Bonus points – they don’t smell after a few wears like the synthetic ones do. Now time for the crucial question. Rain jacket or trash bag?
If you’ve done several festivals you’ll probably have your kit well sorted by now. Years of bumming aroundfields and you’ll eventually learn there are only two options. Option 1 is to invest in a proper technical rain jacket.
Something genuinely waterproof (water-resistant is bullshit, they’re not), preferably with taped seams and a hood that doesn’t immediately flap around like a startled pigeon. I’m looking at Patagonia, The North Face and Rab doing some great ones. They can be pricey, but last forever and will take you beyond the festival realm.
Option 2 is the old school disposable poncho. I’m not talking the cheap rubbish that disintegrates as you try to pull it over your shoulders. Get yourself down to your local camping shop and pick up one or two of the better ones.
They’re not going to win any fashion prizes, but they’re lightweight, compact and around a tenner each. Plus when they die a violent death during your festival travels you won’t mind quite so much. I tend to take one decent rain jacket and then 2 or 3 cheapo ponchos as a belt and braces approach.
Jeans are a rookie mistake. As soon as they get wet they become heavy, awkward and will remain clenched to your skin long after you’ve peeled them off and shoved them in a bucket. Trust me.
Save yourself the hassle and go with some light-weight quick dry trousers instead. Walking trousers from your local outdoor shop are ideal but let’s be honest look a bit daggy. Shorts are always an option but then you’re entering cropped trouser territory and having to rely on a pair of waterproof trousers to keep your legs dry.
Which brings me nicely onto… Walk shorts – these ticks both the looking slightly daggy and having to wear waterproof pants boxes nicely I think. In recent years I’ve started rocking the walking trouser look myself. Decent ones from Patagonia and Fjällräven aren’t as obviously hiking expedition compared to some of the others out there.
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Of course if your style leanings are more urban you can head down the nerd chic route and pick yourself up some technical fabrics masquerading as “normal” clothes. Brands like Norse Projects, Folk, Universal Works etc. all do super nice pieces with hidden performance features built into jeans, jackets and shirts. You’ll pay a bit more for the deception, but you’ll also still look like you shouldn’t be wandering around a field crying into a sock puppet.
Footwear is where I really learnt my lesson. Those white trainers I started the festival with have haunted me for years. Since then I’m a convert to doing footwear research before rocking up to a festival.
The gold standard here has to be wellies. Obviously a pair you’ve broken in at home first so you don’t get blisters after ten yards. Hunter are the obvious go-to but if you’re doing lots of walking Aigle make some way more comfy ones.
The downside with wellies is that they kind of suck if it gets hot. You basically have buckets strapped to your feet. Which brings me neatly onto option… Running shoes!
Again, something you’ve tried before, preferably walking/ trail running shoes that can deal with mud but aren’t a total fug trap like wellingtons can be. Salomon and Hoka make some great ones. They’re infinitely more comfy than wellies/clodhoppers/mudslingers (delete as appropriate) but equally will save your feet from mud-induced drownings if it does pour.
They won’t win any style points either way, so might as well wear the footwear that keeps you upright. I tend to do a mix of both now. Wellies just in case but also a decent pair of trail running shoes that I know I can run around in but also won’t die of heatstroke in.
A hat is an absolute must. Trust me. Aside from keeping the sun/rain out of your eyes they also allow you to add a fashionable flourish to an otherwise mundane outfit.
Bucket hats are great for overall coverage or go classic with a beany style cap. I picked up a waxed cotton Barbour one a few years back that’s seen me through half a dozen festivals and still looks half decent. Moral of the story – there’s such a thing as festival wearable that doesn’t look like you’ve started your hike up Snowdon.
Same goes for a small crossbody bag or….. wait for it…. bumbag. God help us they’re back. But a practical bumbag that allows you to keep your phone, cash etc. somewhere accessible and relatively dry is hugely underrated.
Get yourself something water-resistant from Fjällräven and no one will know you’re playing them all the way home. Sun glasses are another must. Don’t bring your good ones though.
Trust me on this. Festivals are where sunglasses go to die (see what I did there). Get yourself a cheap but decent pair that you won’t mind if they do indeed die.
They’ll serve a dual purpose of shielding your eyes from the sun should it grace us with its presence but also hide the glazed madness that inevitably develops in your eyes after little to no sleep and what feels like endless caffeine fuelled dancing. EDITED DOWN – that’s the keyword. Edited down.
Take a sensible amount of everything you actually need and then think about whether you can strip anything else out. Don’t be that person lugging around a huge backpack stuffed with enough “just in case” clothes to keep you going for a week. If your shoulders hurt you’ll NEVER relax at a festival, trust me I’ve been there.
So what does my pared down, festival editing mean I actually pack for a standard three-day British festival? – 3 x t-shirts –Quick dry and layerable – 1 x Lightweight jumper –again quick dry and offers some warmth if needed – 1 x Waterproof – duh – 1 x Pair of walking trousers that convert to shorts (yes I made peace with them). Means less chance of packing the wrong weather clothes. – Trainers/ Trail running shoes – Wellies (because there’s always at least one downfall in the morning) – Sufficient underwear and socks (and extras as wet socks are a quick route to festival hell) – Hat – Cheap sunglasses – Toothpaste/toothbrush – Sunscreen – Phone charger Minimal toiletries, Everything is as quick dry as it possibly can be. Layers you can dress up or down depending on weather.
And that’s it. Three t-shirts? Are you crazy Joe?
Have you been to enough festivals that you think you’re Rob Chusloivski at this point? Maybe. But also when you’re stood watching your favourite band doing their thing on the main stage you’re literally wearing one shirt and wellies.
Much of what you pack will never see the light of day.
Trust me I’ve unpacked my festival bags with enough leftover food to feed a small village. Of course, if you’re one of the pros out there (again I mean festival photographers who actually go to festivals multiple times a year for work, not people who attend a lot of festivals) you’ll have a festival capsule wardrobe.
Shirts, jackets and trousers that all live in a specific bag ready to be grabbed whenever a fieldbased assignment is thrown your way. Things that have been lived in and broken in enough to know they can take a beating without you mourning them if they get wrecked. The better seasoned festivelpers have also learnt that unless you’re Amelia Wren at the beginning of the summer, by weekend 3 your outfit has nothing to do with how fashionable you looked on day one.
You’ll see people who rock up looking like they work at EQopia wearing trendy cutsie vests and destroyed jeans and lamenting how appallingly the weather is at every opportunity. By the time Sunday comes around they’re sodden, snappy and looking like they’d rather be anywhere but mudville. Then you’ll see the guy wearing the sensible pants walking past looking relatively cheerful and think “why didn’t I pack like that?” It doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with your outfit.
I tend to play my outfits quite safe on the top-half – dark waterproof jacket, well fitting plain t-shirts. But I’ll then add flair with a colourful scarf (future uses: toilet seat covers, pillow, picnic blanket) socks people will notice and quietly boast about and a decent pair of sunglasses. Be sensible, be prepared and most of all don’t forget the baby wipes.
